“It can’t make you much money,” she said. “Not for the amount of time and work you put in over the three months.”

She’s right; it doesn’t. I spend three hours a week teaching each class–in the fall, that’s going to go up to four hours/week. My students tell me they put in between 6 and 10 hours on their homework every week–homework that I then have to go over, comment on, discuss, and correct. If I add up everyone’s tuition and divide by the number of hours I put in, I’m making …

Damn little.

So why do I teach GCT? Not sure. Let me muse as I write.

If we go back to the beginning, I started teaching the basics of the book business and a little bit about ghostwriting back in 1993, I think. Maybe 1996. Don’t remember. My motive then was to pass on some information and sell my book, This Business of Books: A Complete Overview of the Industry from Concept through Sales, then in its 3rd Edition.

Maybe I was looking for referrals. Maybe I just wanted to share. I honestly cannot remember. But I found I enjoyed teaching. It was fun. It was stimulating. It was educational for me. And people paid me a little bit of money. A win/win.

Over the years, the class ebbed and flowed. I taught sometimes, didn’t the rest. Tried to put together Professional Book Writing School, but life got in my way. Remember, I spent over two decades struggling with serious health problems, which I have now, Baruch Ha’Shem, completely overcome. But during most of the past two decades, I was inconsistent and intermittent with my work habits, my clients, and my teaching.

Looking back, it’s amazing to me how much I managed to get done by just bulldozing through. When faced with allegedly insurmountable odds, some people take it easy, some people rely on the medical community, and some people give up. I just put my head down and worked. Not fast, not always well, but through the best and the worst of it, I worked.

And then I was facing the end.

It was 2000 and I had one of those “life-changing” episodes during a downward health spiral that told me I was coming to the end of my days. But I had a client! How could I transition to the next world and leave my client up in the air?  So I handed the client over to one of my interns and started pricing funerals.

I won’t keep you in suspense–I didn’t die. In fact, with the help of my beautiful sister-by-love, Bera Dordoni, N.D. (Bastis Foundation), I began the long journey back to perfect and total health. But it was an eye-opening experience and I realized I had to write a book. And so I did.

And I rewrote it.

And rewrote it.

And so and so forth and scooby dooby do.

The final edition of said book, Secrets of a Ghostwriter: World’s First Step-by-Step Guide to the Theory, Skills, and Politics of Ghostwriting, is at long last complete and exhaustively emended by five wonderful, nit-picky editors. And Ghostwriter Certification Training has evolved from a 5-week to a 7-week to a 14-week and soon to be 16-week program that details exactly what the job is, how to do the job, how to find aspiring authors to do the job for, and how to convert those authors into contracted clients.

Which may be the actual reason why I continue to teach GCT. After putting in all this time and effort to develop what Cora Foerstner called “the seminal text” on the subject and honing the program to the point that I’m confident it’s turning out skilled, competent ghostwriters, how can I stop?

But I warn you now: in fall, the price is going up. Because yeah–I don’t make enough money at this right now!

Don’t you deserve better?

As a book ghostwriter, I always get paid, I set my own fees, and I can work as many big-ticket projects at the same time as I want. Business ghostwriter Michael Levin says that three $35,000 projects per year is not unusual for him; truth is, it’s not unusual for any trained or experienced ghostwriter.

Ghostwriter Certification Training is the wave of today. Join the  growing ranks of certified ghostwriters who are landing hi-ticket projects that are fun and fulfilling. The next GCT session starts the first week of June with day classes, teleclasses, and evening classes. Click on Ghostwriter Certification Training in the left column or go to http://claudiasuzanne.com/gct to learn how to improve your writing, increase your income, and get paid to live the writer’s life.

I look forward to seeing you in class next month!

I did not write the 5th Edition of THIS BUSINESS OF BOOKS.

So I’m doing that one now. This January, 2010. Really. I mean it. Absolutely for reals. I may have to buy an interest in Mars Candy Company to recoup my investment in M&Ms to get through it, but I’m doing it. Right now. Seriously.

For six years now—six years?!  What’s the matter with you? Just write the damn thing!—I’ve promised myself to slam-dunk this revision in a matter of ten to fourteen days. A month at the outside. Six, eight weeks, tops. Definitely within a fiscal quarter.

And for six years—six years?!—I’ve found good reason to not even crack the thing open. I had clients’ work to do. I was backed up on my bookkeeping. It was still selling as is. I had other stuff to write. I didn’t want to self-publish again and I didn’t want to create a proposal. I’d gotten two negative reviews (out of about forty-five or fifty, the rest all positive —so sue me, I’m an author, just like you). Other books had taken its place. I didn’t know what I wanted to change.

I didn’t want to do all that work.

But this year—this glorious 2010 year, this tenth year since we stopped saying “nineteen” and started saying “two thousand” and now say “twenty,” this fantabulous year wherein my husband goes forth with his reinvigorated career, my daughter and her fiancée move to Boston, I sell SECRETS OF A GHOSTWRITER and even find a new agent for HIRED BODIES—this year I’m knuckling down and doing the 5th Edition.

In fact, I’ve already started. Mostly by pretty much catching up on everything else so I have no excuse left, but also by making notes in the margins of my desk copy. I’ve created a new file with a new file name that I can fold, spindle, and mutilate. I’ve collected articles and URLs with important albeit already outdated information. I’ve figured out exactly what I want to change and how I’m going to adjust the cover. I’ve determined the best BISAC Subject heading. I’ve even seriously thought about maybe starting a possible book proposal!

Whew! Is it time to take a break yet?

But no—I slog on. Neither rain nor sleet nor beckoning dirty toilets shall stay me from actually rewriting the obsolete stuff, editing the perennial stuff, updating the transient stuff, and throwing out the rest. The revision-needy text and its accompanying diagrams, tables, and sheaf of amendments sits right here before me, slightly right of my monitor, on the very top of the manuscript pile, obvious, relentless, demanding. I shall persevere. I shall overcome. I shall write the 5th edition.

But as Harry Truman would say: don’t quote me, that’s strictly off the record.

(To download PLOT Y OUR NOVEL IN 15 MINUTES OR LESS, just fill in your name and email address under SUBSCRIBE in the right column and hit submit.)

Got another free eBook coming soon: HOW GHOSTS GET THEIR GIGS. This will be a compilation of stories by actual, working ghostwriters. The eBook should be ready around the time the next Ghostwriter Certification Training (GCT) classes start in January, and will be free to all GCT students, past and present (and possibly available for a small fee to you aspiring ghosts…)

Why a HOW GHOSTS GET THEIR GIGS eBook? Because if you don’t take the training but still want to break in to the business, you’re going to need a helping hand. As one recent student said, ghostwriting isn’t  easy. But it is one of the fastest growing and most in-demand freelance-writer opportunities available.

Also–and take heed, shameless self-promotion ahead–check out the new Press page in the left column to see what people (only one is a student) are saying about ghostwriting and GCT. That’s it: shameless self-promotion officially over.

As with any conference, there was no way to absorb all the fantastic information being offered FOR FREE by the myriad presenters. But unlike costly in-person conferences, you could drop in on any workshop at any time to catch up with what was going on, post a question, or throw in your own two cents.

The MUSE Online Writers Conference is Lea Schizas’ brainchild, and she runs it almost single-handedly and, again, for FREE.

If you want to take advantage of one of the greatest Internet writer opportunities, sign up now for next year’s conference at http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/2010MuseConferenceRegistration/.
Trust me, you won’t regret it. This conference is FANTASTIC!!

1. Write an easily rejected manuscript. Don’t clutter up your nonfiction manuscript with a thesis or your novel with a theme. Ignore the differences between journaling and creative writing. Think of your audience as not only the general public, but teachers and your professional peers as well. Quote extensively from other books. Give all your characters the same background, agenda, and perspective. Never consider altering your plot. Get all your writing guidance from a critique group. Look for an editor who always goes by the book.

2. Don’t learn anything about the publishing industry. Send out hundreds of queries at a time by email. Don’t bother learning the nuances of book proposals or submission synopses. Send out your novel’s most compelling chapters, not the first ones. Expect agents to value your work even if they don’t handle your type of book. Resubmit your rewrite to agents who have already turned you down. Figure your publisher will tell you how to promote your book. Insist on keeping your title exactly as it is and dictate the cover design. Bank on Amazon and Barnes & Noble’s local-author program and your title’s web site to sell a lot of copies. Assume your book will always be available whenever and wherever you do a promotion. Trust your friends’ opinions about everything.

3. Believe all the hype about subsidy press and “self-publishing services.” Know in your heart that agents and traditional publishers are biased, elitist or “just don’t know a good thing when they see it.” Expect your subsidy publisher’s catalog to get your book into brick-and-mortar stores. Plan on massive, continuing sales from Amazon. Ignore all that mumbo-jumbo about ISBN ownership and P-CIP requirements. Never question whether your book is up to industry editorial or design standards. Assume copy editing is the same as editorial accountability. Get all your marketing and distribution advice from publishing-service web sites and friends who have also used a subsidy press. Believe your ebook and web presence will entice a traditional publisher to pick up your title.

Don’t want to trash your literary aspirations? Read more than you write. Seek out legitimate writers groups. Find yourself a good teacher.  Read Larry Brook’s blog , Joanne Penn’s blog, this blog, and any other blog with solid writing or industry information. Plan to get your book edited by at least two or three different people, preferably professional book editors, not English teachers, out of work journalists, or former magazine editors. Recognize that you’ve entered a new industry that has its own rules, foibles, idiosyncrasies, personalities, jargon, and erratic ebb-and-flow, so learn first, question second–insist never.

And keep writing. Because the real way to trash your career is to give up at the first rejection, the first call for rewrite, the first deal gone sour, the first bad review. Writing is rewriting,  rejection is part of the game, and reviewers all have their own agendas, so keep revising, keep coming up with new ideas, keep pushing on.

Questions? Call 1-800-641-3936 or email claudiasuzane@gmail.com

Furthermore (the discussion goes on) the main character, aka “protagonist” in literary parlance, has to be sympathetic enough for the reader to want to read about them, even root for them. That protagonist then journeys through the plot, undergoes a character arc, and ends the story at least slightly changed, hopefully (but not necessarily) for the better.

Finally, the conversation concludes, the book opens and closes on the protagonist, not on a secondary character or subplot.

These concepts aren’t “rules” so much as they are accepted realities for communicating with a cold reader. When someone in a totally different state who has never heard your name before picks up a book you’ve written, you want to have a better-than-fair chance of capturing their attention and getting them to read your story.

If the fundamental “rules” of fiction are 1) it must be compelling and 2) it must be plausible within itself, then keeping the above simple guidelines in mind will help you achieve those two goals.

It’s simple. And complex. Like all writing.

Questions? Call 1-800-641-3936

This has nothing to do with being able to write “2009″ instead of “2008″ on letters, checks, and memos. It has more to do with my visual image of time passing. This part of the year is crystal clear in those visualizations but never quite present in my physical experiences.

Mine is the mind of a ghostwriter. We are not normal people. We are not even normal writers. We are invisible. We are ghosts.

I also start every year with a padful of plans and goals. I rearrange furniture. I make new alliances. I re-invigorate old ones. I sadly put away (every year) those jeans that are now either too small, too large, or just too worn. It never fails; January is goodbye beloved jeans month.

And so the year starts.

For 2009 I have even more plans and goals, but, alas, fewer stores of energy. I need to accomplish all my wondrous dreams and ambitions between the hours of 9 AM and 5 PM for a change. A normal work day for most people, but not,as y’all know, for ghosts, who tend to work from early morn to past nightfall.

This is also the time of year when I dream of doing something else–almost anything else–other than write. Fact is, I’ve written. I no longer feel that craving first-time authors have to “have written.” I’ve done wrote. I’ve wrotted lotsa stuff. Muy good stuff. Some not-so-good stuff. Several more than a few bad stuffs. Been there, done that. Book #100 came and went. It was accompanied by no trumpets. No band struck a chord or sounded a flourish. No parade marched past my window, no confetti needed sweeping up.

Instead, I received an email from a college instructor asking when I’d be coming out with the Fifth Edition of This Business of Books.

Never fear, I answered her: “Soon.” In fact, I’ve been answering “Soon” to that oft-repeated question for quite some time now. Book #101 and 102 passed, and still I answered, “Soon.” But, alas, I fear it is a lie, for I am blowing all my time working on the 2nd edition of Secrets of a Ghostwriter instead. And creating a series of booklets called Better Papers Mean Better Grades. And rewriting chapters for my historical-romance client. And planning and teaching classes and workshops.

Not to mention cleaning the toilet. Contemplating my need for a manicure. Musing about finding a partner to play gin. Toying with the possibility of moving a picture from one wall to another. Making piles of receipts to input and constructing lists to check off.

Hmmm… is it possible I’m avoiding the 5th Edition of This Business of Books?

O, Me, say it isn’t so!

Sorry, Me, I think it is. Buck up, kiddo, it’s just another version of a book you’ve written five times that is still selling even though you refuse to market it. It’ll be fun!

Oh sure, says me. But what about me?

Enough! I thought this blog was suppose to be about ghostwriting!

It is! Except when it’s not.

Which is pretty much my state of mind come every January. I have not written the 5th Edition now for five years. This is the year–it says so right on my list of plans and goals–that I finish the 2nd Edition of Secrets and put together the 5th Edition of TBOB.

And this time, as Larry Miller would say, I really mean it.

Twitter this at http://tinyurl.com/5vhjwf

So I gave her permission to not be current. I also gave her permission to not know everything she needs to know about the book business, because there is too much to know for anyone to know everything. I have no cosmic authority to bestow such permission, but my friend felt better for receiving it.

It gave her pause; it made her realize that no one can possibly keep up with the news from so many sources (so we get a variety of perspectives, of course), plus the news of their own industry, plus the new techniques and innovations of the web and other media AND still have the time to get their own work done.

Sometimes it’s even too much to get through all the newsletters that condense the daily changes. We’re not only suffering from information overload, we’re battered by excessive information availability.

So here’s my global Holiday gift for all my female readers who have the weight of the world on their shoulders and flaming whips urging them ever onward:

This is a reusable gift that flourishes when given away.

Unless you’re dealing with fire, flood, chest pains, difficulty breathing, or copious blood loss, you have my permission to stop, sit, and daydream about totally irrelevant matters. And to eat something that makes you happy.

This isn’t Oz and I don’t have a curtain and giant head, but the Great Ghost hath spoken.

You have my permission to not be perfect today.