This has not been the year I expected it to be. It has not been filled with all those marvelous changes and accomplishments I’d envisioned just 12 months ago. It has instead been a year of Elliott Wave ebbs and flows, with so much ebb I simply have to believe next year will produce some remarkable forward flows.In fact, the flows have already started.

Every December/January I make a list of things I did right during the previous year. It’s soooo much easier to list all the things I did wrong, but I force myself to look at the positive so I can spring forward into the new year knowing that, even during the toughest of times, I nevertheless step up to the plate more than I allow myself to realize.

Do you do that? Look back and dwell on all the mistakes you made? Maybe that’s the whole point of those lengthy holiday letters people send out; they focus on all the good. But that’s the good of the family, not the good of the individual. It’s o, so very easy to extol family, friends, and circumstances, isn’t it? Not so much, at least for some of us, to truly appreciate our own positive deeds. I normally do this in private, but what the heck–time to take the great leap and try it in public.

This is the year my husband, who had been ill for over a year, got much, much worse–as bad as it gets without getting to the end. Then in mid Fall, he came back! He’s now almost fully recovered, back to making music, and “sprung forward” into serious leadership and maturity. Nothing like a near-death experience to put things into perspective, eh? Can’t really claim any responsibility for his recovery except from a distance: I provided the support that allowed him to get through his personal hell and come out the other side. I guess I can take that as something I did right these last two years.

Hey, it’s my list, I’m taking it!

I got all four kids (one birth child, three acquired by love–don’t ask; long story) back into college, figured out how to cover the costs they couldn’t cover themselves,  helped and encouraged when needed, and stayed out of the way (mostly) when not. The staying out of the way may have been the hardest part. Nevertheless, they’re all doing well, getting good grades, and ready for next semester, so I’m taking that as something else I did right

Again, my list, not yours. You don’t agree, make your own list.

I had a major emotional/psychological melt-down in May, the first real “break” of my life. (As I said, lots of ebb.) Discarded my birthday as a result and almost punted my career in the process. But I gritted my teeth, dealt with the breakage as my brother-by-love would say, worked through the pain, and finished a excessively difficult manuscript for an extremely demanding client by deadline–some of my best ghost work so far, in fact. So yeah, I’m definitely counting that fortitude and diligence in the face of drastic strain as something I did right.

That makes three. Not bad.

My daughter drove my beloved ’91 Honda Civic Wagon with its almost 360-degree visibility into a telephone pole, cracking her lower back and utterly totaling the car. Talk about mixed emotions! If she had been going 5 mph faster or was 20 lb. thinner, she’d be as dead as the Honda. My baby recovered, but my baby died. I don’t think I can count it as a good thing that I did not smother her in the hospital bed for killing my car. It only had 230,000 miles on it! It coulda run for another 100,000 miles, easy! *sigh* No, I don’t think I did anything right in that situation. I did my mom stuff and said the right things–I even meant them–but six months later I’m still mourning my auto-baby. No–no points for me here. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Working on it.

What else? Came up with what I thought was a tremendous idea: ghostwrite a great story in public. In fact, I still think it’s a tremendous idea; just have been so busy with all of the above I haven’t had a chance to get its wheels off the ground yet. But it helps Ron (the author), it helps Wayne the artist, it’s entertaining for history buffs and online readers, it’s educational for students and aspiring authors and beginning ghosts. Yeah, ReadAsWritten.com was a great idea.

I’m taking it.

That makes four.

Hmmmm … anything else?

Oh, yeah! I promised myself I’d finish each chapter of the second edition of my text on ghostwriting in time for each week’s class–and I pulled it off! Could feel little bits and pieces of my mind dropping away as the weeks went by, but I made my own deadline. Now all I have to do is rewrite, edit, and publish. Ha! Piece of cake (she wrote, laughing hysterically beneath her breath).

Five. I made it to ten one year. Not so much in 2008.

Let’s see, going down the list: didn’t do much for my parents this year. Had a reapproachment with my dad, but he initiated, not me. Still, it’s a very, very good thing and I could have easily responded the wrong way. I’ll give myself a half since it took both of us. Didn’t do anything wonderful for any of my friends this year–broke in May, remember? Have hardly spoken to most of them until recently. Had a great class this Fall, but that was, again, a mutual thing with the students so … okay, I’ll take the other half. That makes six.

I think I’m going to count as the last thing I did right this year the fact that I started to learn to let people help me. Very tough nut for me to crack. As a writer I am by nature and definition a loner. I tend to do for myself when sometimes, maybe more times, I need to let someone else do for me. Toward that end, my husband and I made our daughter Chief Operations Officer of the company, and I have promised myself (and her, of course) that I will step back and let her do her job. It’s the right thing to do, and letting other people take pieces of the elephant off my plate is such a major struggle for me that I think it’s reasonable for the count. Perhaps including it will remind me next year to stick with that course. One never knows, do one?

That’s it. Seven. Did LOTS more things wrong, of course. But I did seven things right this year. Can’t compare with the year I flew to Arizona and drove my husband’s piano home from his mother’s house as a birthday surprise. Or the year I rescued my daughter from her school’s hate campaign. Or the year I helped save a friend’s life.  Or the year I drove my sister-by-love’s moving van to New Mexico. But as tough years go, not as bad as had I thought before I started this piece.

Oh, yeah, I did one more thing right: I helped break the color barrier of the White House and change our international image. I helped renew the country’s sense of hope, not to mention my own. I voted for Obama. I have no illusions that he can singlehandedly fix all of America’s ills in the next four years, but I have hope that things will get better. I’m counting that as eight.

As a side note, I’ve somehow gotten a number of hits on this site from people searching for the word “penis.” I don’t know why. Until this blog, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned the word “penis” before. Of course, now I’ve mentioned it twice. And it’s not a bad word, but it’s certainly not something I’ve done deliberately, so I can’t exactly count that as doing something right. However, if you’re looking to increase the hits on your site,you might try sprinkling “penis” in here and there. In an arena as intimately impersonal as the Internet, it’s an interesting glitch in the ethersystem. Just a thought, not something I particularly did right. You’ll note it is not in my tags. Hmmm–wonder what would happen if it was? NO! Bad thought! *slaps* Bad bad thought.

Here’s my Right Thought for 2009: may we all have a healthy, properous, gratifying, and productive year with scads more Elliott Wave flow than ebb. Goodbye 2008! As William Shatner’s Kirk said as he kicked Christopher Lloyd’s Klingon over the cliff, “I have had enough of you!”