I’ve run into so many people of late with such cockamamie ideas about writing and the book business that I simply had to pull out an old piece and update it. So without further ado, here’s the 3 Easiest Ways to Trash Your Literary Aspirations:

1. Write an easily rejected manuscript. Don’t clutter up your nonfiction manuscript with a thesis or your novel with a theme. Ignore the differences between journaling and creative writing. Think of your audience as not only the general public, but teachers and your professional peers as well. Quote extensively from other books. Give all your characters the same background, agenda, and perspective. Never consider altering your plot. Get all your writing guidance from a critique group. Look for an editor who always goes by the book.

2. Don’t learn anything about the publishing industry. Send out hundreds of queries at a time by email. Don’t bother learning the nuances of book proposals or submission synopses. Send out your novel’s most compelling chapters, not the first ones. Expect agents to value your work even if they don’t handle your type of book. Resubmit your rewrite to agents who have already turned you down. Figure your publisher will tell you how to promote your book. Insist on keeping your title exactly as it is and dictate the cover design. Bank on Amazon and Barnes & Noble’s local-author program and your title’s web site to sell a lot of copies. Assume your book will always be available whenever and wherever you do a promotion. Trust your friends’ opinions about everything.

3. Believe all the hype about subsidy press and “self-publishing services.” Know in your heart that agents and traditional publishers are biased, elitist or “just don’t know a good thing when they see it.” Expect your subsidy publisher’s catalog to get your book into brick-and-mortar stores. Plan on massive, continuing sales from Amazon. Ignore all that mumbo-jumbo about ISBN ownership and P-CIP requirements. Never question whether your book is up to industry editorial or design standards. Assume copy editing is the same as editorial accountability. Get all your marketing and distribution advice from publishing-service web sites and friends who have also used a subsidy press. Believe your ebook and web presence will entice a traditional publisher to pick up your title.

Don’t want to trash your literary aspirations? Read more than you write. Seek out legitimate writers groups. Find yourself a good teacher.  Read Larry Brook’s blog , Joanne Penn’s blog, this blog, and any other blog with solid writing or industry information. Plan to get your book edited by at least two or three different people, preferably professional book editors, not English teachers, out of work journalists, or former magazine editors. Recognize that you’ve entered a new industry that has its own rules, foibles, idiosyncrasies, personalities, jargon, and erratic ebb-and-flow, so learn first, question second–insist never.

And keep writing. Because the real way to trash your career is to give up at the first rejection, the first call for rewrite, the first deal gone sour, the first bad review. Writing is rewriting,  rejection is part of the game, and reviewers all have their own agendas, so keep revising, keep coming up with new ideas, keep pushing on.

Questions? Call 1-800-641-3936 or email claudiasuzane@gmail.com